"some people are so preoccupied with the next world that they're forgetting to live in this one"- atticus

yup:D exams are finally going to be over, note my saying going cause they're not over yet, and lit is finally over man! whoo, i mean like, of course! no more lit, but actually i think lit it a pretty good subject you know, i mean you get to learn how people think and all, get to understand people, i mean i always thought that lit was a people's subject in that sense, like philosophy or something along those lines.
i'm losing you,
tomorrow's last paper is Amath, AND, its finally going to be over! talking about celebrating! i dont think i'll wanna go out tomorrow, i dont know, lizzi and lissa have the new hope meeting thing and well, i dont have the mood exactly to go out anyway, or the money. but oh well, i guess i can just celebrate at home, yay me. whoo. exciting. whatever man, and i revised math, but not that much so that i'm really confident in like getting an A1 or anything, as long as i pass, OR get a B at the very least i'll be pretty contented, not that i want that la, you know an A is way better anyday, just trying to comfort myself you know.
ever so slowly,
Besides, i realised that i want so many things, and i keep asking God, i just keep asking, yes, i do say thank you and i do offer myself to God, but the thing is sometimes when i know its God calling, when i know that God wants me to do things, i just dont want to, cause its so difficult, yes yes, God's work is never easy. I just wished i had a little more patience and understanding to do what God called on to us to do, i just never seem to find this courage, i've always let the devil take over.
please dont go.
I've thought about it, maybe i'll just go with the flow you know, let things go their natural ways. Maybe its just me. If things do change, i'm trying you know, to salvage it, but it takes 2 hands to clap and sometimes to do things. Sometimes when we want to build something up, first we have to break it down, maybe its working that way, we'll see. I'm praying about it, i've always been, since that first moment, i hope its working, because this last bit of hope, its all i need, its all that will keep me going, keep me trying.

Please help me Lord.

ON the brighter side, colin MIGHT be free tomorrow so i might not be left stranded alone. MIGHT, but you know, his school ends at like, what, 3? Nuts kay, then again, maybe i'll go home :D nothing beats home, cause home is where the heart is :D haha, omg, so lame.

NIGHT YALL!