when you think of IJ, what do you think of?

let me tell you what i used to think when i thought of IJ. I thought IJ was my shelter, my refuge. I thought IJ was a place where i could be myself and everyone could understand, i mean, we're all girls and besides that, IJ girls have the basic values that should be in each and everyone of us. THAT was the IJ i've always dreamt of. Values like, compassion, consideration, transparency, honesty, modesty and many many more. Dont you think that everyone should have those values? Well, this world isnt perfect, neither am i. My fuse is really short, and for the smallest things, especially things that deal with injustice, i'll blow up.

Look, i'm not asking everyone to give in. I'm sure everyone has their reason for doing what they did, but all i'm asking is, in all your years in IJ, where's the compassion for your friends. Those who need help, those who ask, you turn them away, why? Because your world revolves around you, you and you alone. Because "i'm the most important", because "they had their chance and they missed it, so i'm not going to give them another chance". you know why, because you selfish people, wont give others a second chance, i mean, you're perfect right? never made a mistake in your whole entire life, so you dont need any second chances. I'll remember that. For life, i assure you, i will.

You're all thinking, "this is such a small matter and she's so annoyed". So be it, yes this is a small matter, i told you i have a short fuse, and so what? this "small" issue says alot about your character. I'm not saying you've got to be perfect, just be a good role model. If you expect others to have that attitude, you better have the same attitude. If you want to be the top, act like it. Where's the servant leadership in this, where all you think of are YOUR grades? I dont know alright, you want to blame someone, just blame me okay? And get over with it, i know you hate me, i know you bitch about me. But let me tell you this, i dont care. When i'm done with life, the only one who cares is God. Just think about it, all you catholics, self-centred, selfish. Me, Me, Me. there is no US, no YOU. just me. go live in a box.

But anyway, today was a pretty bad day for me. And i'm not going for the R^3 thing. Go as a class, nonsense. If this didnt happen today, i'd probably go for the R^3 thing, but after this, I really dont think the whole class thing is going to work out. Went to church today to do work, went for mass, prayed really hard, everything is going wrong in my life, and i cant understand it. I dont know why my life if turning to be so bad, not only did we have a screwed up performance for choir, now even our class is on such bad terms. I'll remember, everything happens for a reason, and its to make me stronger. I'll keep that in mind.

I've no more homework because i did mine in church already, so i'm currently free to think about stuff that's bothering me. I guess God has a message for everyone through this, lets just think this way.

"what goes around, comes around, remember?"