HELLO ALL!

jaime says we should all be happy people and you know, she kept saying that there isnt any suffering in the world, only pain. but, i disagreed, saying that you can only suffer when people care, just like how jesus suffered and died for us on the cross. now, i'm in a rather thoughtful mood, like i can really think about stuff with a perspective.

so yeah, i just finished eating dinner, and before that, i was in the shower. wanna know a strange thing about the shower just now? the water was salty. i mean, not like i was bathing in salt water, but i could taste the salty-ness of the water. and i was being, thoughtful. haha. i mean, i started thinking about stuff since 6. why everything happened. why, why, why.

i started thinking about why it happened, of course, i knew the real reason why, but i also knew there was more than one reason for this to happen. and i thought that once it was over, I would have more time. i was wrong. you said it was part of God's plan, that we're drifting, maybe it is, i just cant believe that I had this, hope in me, telling me that it would work. i was delusional. emo? maybe i am. but not the slit wrist emo, i wouldnt do that.

thing have happened. i dont believe jaime man! she keeps telling me to be happy, actually, she tells everyone. her pm was something about why people arent happy, and i told her it was cause people yearned the concern they'd get when they arent happy. and thats the truth, i think. dont you agree? why would you be sad? because something inside of you KNOWS that when you're unhappy, people'd care. or at least, thats what i'd think.

i kept thinking it'd work,
i thought that was the reason we werent so close,
maybe i was delusional,
it was part of God's plan.
maybe we were just not meant to be so close,
fine, i'll give you that.
I just cant come to terms with myself that,
there was this hope that it would work.
It cant now,
not because I dont want it to,
but becausem you told me it would.
i wont push it.