I've looked back at the calander i've been using the past year,
its filled with activities that i've done.
Some have been erased and replaced, why?
Because i had a change of plan, something that cancelled alot of things.

But i rescheduled my calander, so now it looks fine.
Though my pencil leaves marks,
one cannot totally erase the evidence of it being there,
all i can do i try my best to erase it.
Though, it doesnt have to work, at least, not all the time.

I've had so much written in this calander,
i've created a routine for myself to follow,
no sleep ins, no disobeying anything, just follow it.
Yes, i've got my year planned out, organised,
but is this really what i want? Is this making me happy?

Is it purely because i feel safe?
Because i know everything's already planned?
Had i wanted to live like this? organised was cool.
Being organised made me feel smart. Made me feel human.

But despite all the planning, all the joy.
there had to be a holiday that had to screw things up,
that had to destroy my perfectly painted picture,
leaving me to replan everything,
now, disorganised it better.