i sometimes can really hate myself, i really dont know whats wrong with me. i really wished that i had never come to this church, never been so sociable. i'm sorry, i know tonight i just too much for you to handle. thats why i never told you these kind of things before. its not you, seriously, its just me. i dont know whats up with me.

what i said tonight wasnt entirely true, i mean, yes, part of it was, but i dont hate you okay, its just that the feelings were fading, and i thought that it would dissappear or something, but no, its still here. dont ignore me okay? i think that'd be so depressing. i'll tell you everything starting from the beginning to explain everything that i said, i promise. just give me one chance to explain the stuff, then you can hate me. i know its stupid, but its true. i still love you.