oh gosh, today was such a weird day. but i loved it by the way, my day was pretty nice. wanna make a wild guess why i loved today so much? because i finally understood what scout meant when she said "one does not love breathing" in my lit book "To Kill A Mocking Bird". cause she was talking about reading, she said she felt that reading was just like breathing. she said she doesnt love reading, just as she doesnt love breathing. understand? something like, she doesnt love it, she needs it. get it? oh well, it takes time to explain.
thats exactly how i feel, about you.
but yes, basically, that quote "one does not love breathing" was etched in my mind all day long. its as if God was giving me a sign. like, some sort of message or something, though, i still dont know what that message might be. i'm working on it. anyway, today we had some service thing at IMH, so i didnt go for choir. it didnt turn out as i expected it to, so, i was kinda dissapointed. i should have gone for choir, truthfully, it would have been a more productive day for me. but, i guess God let me go there for a reason. for a mission, so, yeah. i'm happy.

oh, i just love blogging, especially now, cause i'm in my bed, with my laptop on my LAP (haha, get it?) and yeah, its night, a good time for reflection. i realise i do think alot, just not with school work and stuff, so i'm not smart, but i spend alot of time thinking about my social life. like, relationships with people and stuff, sometimes, the more i think of it, the worst it gets. but at night is always the time when i start to think. yes, okay.

i'm tired, but i dont really wanna sleep. sigh. things have been going on and stuff have been happening, i feel, they way tessa puts it, unreal. dont get me wrong, i love my life and all, but sometimes i just pause to think, if whatever thats happening, if any of it is real. or if its just some game and in the end, we all lose. i dont know.

sometimes i keep thinking about stuff, and sometimes i really wonder if you'd change your mind and say you've made a mistake about me. just, toss me aside cause of what your friends think. you've told me you wouldnt do that, i believe you, really. but i'm just wondering if that'd make your perception of me change in anyway. but, i'm telling you, my perception of you wont change no matter what people say about you. to me, you'll always be you. doesnt matter what people say about you.