i sound emo huh. well, i wouldnt self mutilate cause its too pain. i mean, well, that is, i wont self mutilate, now. but, maybe, just maybe, in the future, when i think i need to numb myself i'd start self mutilation - yeah right- but anyway, i'm not what you'd call emo now, cause trust me, yesterday, i was feeling like, crap. seriously. you have no idea. its the worst feeling that you can ever get. but obviously you'd say you've been through worst. you have NO IDEA.
you know, i actually love painting. like, yeah. i dont know why, i hate drawing, but i love painting stuff. and, even when i'm painting stuff, i'd just want to tear my painting apart cause i'd think it was so ugly and stuff. but then, my teacher would tell me that, i should never do that, cause each painting is special and no one can paint an exact replica of my picture. she said no matter what, we should finish it and look at the end product. right now, i still havent finished painting my painting, but i'm trying to amend whatever mess i made to my painting. till now, i still want to tear and throw away this painting, but, i know what my teacher said was right, so, i'm gonna amend my painting, and lets just see the end results :)

ohhh. figure that one out. hah. if you know whats happening and all, you'd know that, i'm not exactly in the best of moods, and if you dont, i seem happy dont i? well, i should seem happy cause i'm trying to be and should be :) hey, this is life, just gotta look to the positive side of life right?

there's alot of ups and downs in life, and i guess thats what makes life so interesting. if everything was so perfect, everything would be so boring. but yes, i went for cat class today, and we watched a video on mother teresa, she's really a noble woman. everything she does is because of jesus, for the sake of others and never herself. now, THAT is selfless.

i just wished i could be a little like her cause she brings great joy to the needy and coming to think about it, i'm so blessed. why should i be complaining? i can still remember this line. its etched into my brain, cause it really means alot to me:

"you cant do great things, only little things with great love"