hey :)
had choir today and we learnt the WHOLE GERMAN SONG. plus some lyrics, which is quite difficult to sing cause german isnt an easy language to sing in the first place. plus the fact that i'm wearing braces for those who dont know. its PAIN and I CANT TAKE IT anymore. ok, kidding. i can take it. its just, real pain.

but i dont know. right now, in my life, i dont know whats going on. as in, i dont know how i feel or am supposed to feel at this point in time. i know that if i wanna take up this challenge its gonna be difficult. committing isnt easy, especially when you have to work with people. i'm really afraid that when i say yes and commit, i might end up as the one being left out.

and i'm so afraid that whatever commitment i'm making to the project isnt real, i'm just afraid the only reason i'm doing this is cause it looks good on my report card. cause it might get me into a JC of my choice. so, i'm sorry, at this point, i dont really know if i'm up to this project yet, it might take up too much of my time.

besides, i'm not even sure you are going to put your whole heart into this project. i'm just so afraid. you seem so confident that i wont be left out, but it is a fact that you've started many projects and given up halfway, i'm not sure i'd want to let you handle this project as well. it might just fail, like the rest. and to tell you the truth, i dont take failure well.