hey, i'm so sorry for all the confusion i caused and i know you feel almost as confused as me or maybe even more confused and i'm really sorry. i feel like i'm screwing up your life and i dont want to anymore. so can you just push me aside so that i wont be in your life anymore. trust me, your life will be a whole lot better without me.

i'm sorry for causing all the trouble and everything. even though i can say that i love you, i dont want it anymore. cause, this is getting way weird and i just want us to be as close as friends should be. no more no less. i just want everything to be normal again so that nothing can change. i feel like we're drifting.

and maybe we really are. but hey, i'm not gonna stop trying. cause i still wanna be close. i dont think you'll ever read this, but who cares. i'm really trying my best and all. but i dont know if you are even trying at all. if you dont want me in your life. push me aside please. at least i'll know its over. then maybe i can move on.

maybe i sound emo. and yes, i have thought of just, going to sleep and never waking up cause i feel so tired. and i feel so depressed. and i'm asking for help. really. and even though i trust that god will do something, i just feel like nothing's happening. sorry.